Happy Women’s Day! ❤
Like a blister
I pell-mell jut out
From disfigured milieus
And swill down
The sap of mud
An infant longing
From moot questions
Happy Women’s Day! ❤
Like a blister
I pell-mell jut out
From disfigured milieus
And swill down
The sap of mud
An infant longing
From moot questions
Affirmations are a powerful way to clean up your energy space to keep a healthy frame of mind. Below are 20 affirmations that can help you with it.
I am done away with those who:
By both lovers and haters
My days wore away muted
Yet I growled at baiters
I gashed deep who loved me
With no fault of theirs
And felled medicinal trees
that lulled me for years
I traded my passion for glory
Collapsed under the strain
But that’s not the whole story
I drowned in torrential rain
It takes a mighty soul to rise
While planted in the mud
After giving it myriads of tries
I hit the floor with a thud
You take your stinger out
Surmising that every girl is a Trout
Paralysing ’em with your hypnotic gaze
Covetously you yearn to be chased
Had you taken a moment and hung fire
You’d laugh at the self-deprecating satire…
When you discover your true purpose in your life, you joyfully depart from this world. Totally sated and burping.~ anonymously me
After I made my account on Facebook, I had an epiphany. Everyday I picked up my mobile first thing in the morning and went on scrolling endlessly. Then scoffed, winced, coughed, watched a few videos and checked messages on WhatsApp forwarded a few, and then coughed again.
In retrospect, during my developmental years when my milk teeth were yet to fall out, my character jumped out of the window and vanished into thin air. I rooted about it in the byways of my conscience but it was gone forever. As a child, my motivation was as strong as they come, and with all guns blazing, I hunted for my character in the external world.
Eventually, I found my fold as well as my character in the backseat of someone’s car. Needless to say, it was a nice place to be. That day a crucial paradigm shift came to pass. I found my purpose and had a whale of time driving from the backseat.
My fold had a lot of patience for everything dumb. They talked about it as though butter wouldn’t melt in their mouth. Character blossomed with stroking egos, sometimes gently, sometimes loudly. While painting someone in a bad light transformed me into who I was, that says – a virtuous and integrated human being. And I ended up being at the top of the league. I headed to the fields of roses and tulips and finally landed at the mutton shop.
And suddenly, I was brought back to the present, scrolling my mobile phone yet again…
If you get to know Mr. Jagsdish Bashu, you would realize how worthless you are. At times he is a moralist but behind the semblance of an exceptionally mature person whose idea of maturity is propped on professing culture or morality, there is a wounded child who knows how worthless he is – as life, if he isn’t wealthy, or has his goodness approved by people walking on two legs, neither wings nor tails, by those who possesse a certain entitlement.
In order to take a closer look at his life you should know that each of his daughters i.e a ripe fruit he has consigned to someone for relishing, getting sexual pleasure and taking orders, etc. knows him differently. Well, that we will discuss later.
You might as well want to erase some facts from your memory. If you spend enough time with him, you’d come across a coward who’s quite aware of the truth of professors but has no pluck to follow the honest path and he would coldly dismiss any happenchance that has been in your experience if it doesn’t dovetail his agenda. However, most people prize their life experiences above any scriptures and God. They are just incapable of rejecting what they are living, how they feel etc. And that’s surely a bit of a tiff now.
There are a few golden rules that Mr. Jagadish Bashu always follows:
” It does no harm to be courteous”
” How can this person harm you with his words (lies).”
It has many implications.
With due respect I beg to state that people need anything but your empty attention. People need help, care, acceptance and patient listening rather than your biases and polemics.
It’s my humble request that before bringing up your own relatable stories please spend a day with someone, think their thoughts, feel their feelings, know how they are responding to your presence and touch. And if you can’t live that persons’ life even for a tiny moment, know that it’s easiest to know only your pain and listen to only yourself when people are trying to convey their stories.
Dear society, you have opinions and it is no one else’s job to figure out how, why, when, and where you formed them. Everyone’s life belongs to oneself and opinions are not facts.
So next time when you heap someone with your relatable stories and wonder why the person is not listening to your opinions please consider putting this into your perspective that —
“Everyone has to listen to who is living it rather than others’ ideas and opinions about it.”
So while offering a solution please do the courtesy of refraining from sitting on someone’s head and making a mess out of their life.
They might need a tool that fits their needs and utilize it but they don’t need your opinion about their situation for sure.
And hence my dear society, understand that “when it comes to someone else’s life, “
” it’s you who needs to listen to them.”
But when your mind is already full, you’re paralyzed in terms of listening.
Hence, before you feel that urge to impart your opinions and polemic to others please consider emptying your mind so that you can make room for empathy and compassion. Since it’s absolutely impossible for anyone to listen to someone who thinks that he is living someone else’s life while all this person has is ready-made opinions in his/her head.
People don’t need solutions to your problems and feel obligated to apply them to their lives. For them, it’s essential to be connected to themselves and look for solutions to the problems — that work for them. They need empathy and love rather than the chaos in your head.
People need help. They don’t need to clear your mess or be part of your imagined scenarios.
Utmost gratitude and sincere regards.
My right to stick my oar in anything is founded on apathy and my love for dramas hence as soon as I get the opportunity, I grab it. My opinions are the reflection of the values and ethics of my drama loving community.~ Continuation of pure intent
“Everyone talks to whomever one wants. Everyone reads what one wants. Why?” Biru grunted as we headed to the conference room. Well, I got the message.
” We should also talk about who talks to whom and who thinks what.” I coughed.
Biru stopped dead and gawked at me.
” Why not? You might as well consider writing a review.”
” A brilliant stroke of genius. I am already tossing this idea around, sourcing data and information.” I steered Biru to the corridor.
A kerfuffle coming from the conference room drew my attention as we strode.
The garbage man shoved past me and skeddled off to pass on the garbage to the appropriate person. Confronting the mounds head-on and working out the solution was never in the list. Driven by his pure intentions, he believed that in his relationship with the place, he was the only one who existed. Hence, no one had any say in these matters, — but for the third person!
So, as usual, the third woman found it quite stimulating. Willingly and with great fervour she took on the task and jumped in…, and bellowed at the non-existent part of the relationship
” You don’t exist! Your pertinence to use your voice offends us.”
“I feel incredibly fortunate and honoured to be able to offer this service to as many people as I can.” She continued after a pause.
“I will try my best to justify and defend the right to manufacture and spread garbage. I am exceedingly grateful for the solidarity and support of like-minded people and I will rue you for using your voice for yourself, for your nonchalance, and your point-blank refusal to please anyone.”
She had been the backseat commander for decades. I harked back her words ” We can’t stop them from hurling a tidal wave of invective and abuse. We can only support them, justify their deeds and appreciate their tactical acumen of doing dirt and acting victim. We can only appreciate what is good in them. But if you don’t respond to any abuse calmly and quietly, if you don’t express your gratitude for the abuse we will pillory, boo and malign you.” She choked with tears…
Suddenly, her shrieking forced me back to the present.
“Bitch! You’re the reason why I chose to go for it. How dare you speak in your matters??? That’s why we are doing everything to suppress your voice. Only I, I repeat, only I have the say in your matters, your drawing, or whatever we choose. Because our opinions are the commands.”
Having opinions lends us the privilege to have a say!
As it appeared, the backseat commander was gasping and soon she picked up where she left.
“I am smarter than you! Can’t you see how I am doing the shit for donkey’s years? Did you ever appreciate our hard work? The pain we endured to hawk the garbage everywhere? You can never understand how it feels when someone stands up to any harassment only with the intent to hurt the sentiments of the perpetrators. The day the survivor declares ‘Enough is enough’, it breaks the heart of any abusers.”
I marveled at her empathy!
“You will have to answer why you didn’t pick up the phone? You bitch!!”
Well, thunderous applause ensued in the wake.
Soon every thirdman and thirdwoman who lauded the quality of garbage was rewarded for his knowledge and literary prowess.
By noticing the opinions of backseat commanders you’d know them.
He was notorious for bullying and scapegoating among his peers and in his family so when Aunt Molly arrived, he tried to be as nice with her as he could. It helps!
” You can confide in me, Aunt Molly!” Mouthing simperingly he took her luggage.
” What a nice boy!” Aunt Molly choked with affection…
Such people have a habit of dumping at each ‘difference in opinion’ or just anything for that matter all the while during their conversations. Let’s say if you’re telling him that you slept at 12 O’Clock or 7 O’Clock, this person would snap inanely, ” Haan tum toh ye/mahan/blah/blah ho!” Suppose you say ” I saw the sunrise today”, he would instantly take a dump ” Haan, tum toh aise/waise dekhti ho!”
So, if you notice, miscreants generally have a certain pattern of behaviour and they notoriously lack a smidgen of decency during communication. They flourish and succeed in settings where toxic positivity is one of the main tools to let their toxic behaviour keep going on. When someone’s whole behaviour pattern is so sickening, he frequently uses the name of some sage, deity, or anything that is not a reflection of this person. Presumably, to maintain the semblance of a well-behaved person or to feel better about him/herself. Such behaviour patterns shouldn’t be confused with what people share about their ideals because they grow and change in that direction.
One of the dumping patterns is — When something good/bad happens to someone they instantly take a dump ” How am I supposed to know when I haven’t talked to the person since eternity?”. To tell the truth, they always have enough to dump about what they “don’t know”. As per my observations these nuisance-creators keep dumping all the time, like –
” Woh pagal hai!”
” Jane meri Delhi me kya rakha hai!”
“blah blah blah blah…..!!!”
So when it comes to such amusingly pathetic characters, you must define a clear and strong boundary rather than wasting your energy on whatever is in their minds — which is mostly shit!
Every once in a while, I come across someone, an adult, who brings my attention to “It’s all in the mind.” So, let’s take a bird’s eye view of the mind (and not the brain). We can roughly divide it into three sections based on its functioning.
1.) Thoughts – that use language and vision to organise our experiences. They aren’t life’s experiences in themselves.
2.) Feelings – our emotional response to life around us i.e sensory stimuli. The term ‘sad’ depicts something which isn’t a word. It’s how we are individually experiencing life.
3.) Imagination – creating something out of our visual, emotional experiences, thought and so forth.
All three of them impact each other. For instance, the part of our mind that deals with our beliefs greatly impacts how we perceive the world and in turn how we feel about it. And it further leads to what we create.
So, the question is are you bothered by your mind or is it an excuse to do something totally mindless (Their dumb philosophy could be the case in point. “When someone objects something, we do that more to the person i.e a little bum-jokes here and a little fondling there and a little shitting everywhere)”. Or, they’re living only with the body. Mindlessly.
So, if your mind doesn’t bother you, do you have access to that part of the mind where unprocessed data is stored? Have you trysted the life you live? Have you met your perception? Do you have any experience of the space where the images and all your sensory details are stored uncontaminated, and without any influence of your thoughts, beliefs and emotions? That’s living closest to who you are. And then there’s no judgement about anything. However, the truth is a miscreant is hardly able to come into contact with the beauty of his own soul. He has shoved something in his head(his “culture!” And of course, everyone must accept his dictum which is non-existent outwardly…) to dump it somewhere, to do some sh*t.
The truth is most of these people who fling anything, anywhere are far from being sensible or true. Once I got someone arguing with me that the natural state of mind isn’t rest but unrest. It appeared that this person’s mind is always thinking. A bum jokes itself! The process of listening essentially requires your brain to stop thinking. Let’s forget the spatial intelligence, he isn’t even slightly aware of the moments when he’s watching something interesting. The deeper the experience the greater is the distance from thoughts at that moment. While some people have this capability right from their childhood, some are more addicted to dumping i.e nonsensical prattling. And these buffoons are the ones often found making choices for others (‘Unsolicited’ is the term that will paint their most accurate picture) littering their surroundings. God forbid, once these characters find an opportunity, they will jump in as the fancy takes them, deliberately trying to make a nuisance at the same time prattling about something that doesn’t amount to a hill of beans. There is nothing else that you can hope for from such pests and nincompoops. They are completely unconcerned with their behaviour pattern, incapable of having their own life experiences but then that’s a whole diferent topic.
So, yes, miscreants also have opinions and the fact is you can’t change the person who does it once too often. But if you don’t grasp the nettle by ignoring their behavioural history and not learning from your past, you have only yourself to blame.
“I won’t go! I won’t go! I won’t go!”
Society must not be so profoundly deaf to not hear these voices and act like the woman-in-charge of a brothel. Women run away from their marriages? Sickening! Doesn’t it sound pitiful? The divorce rate is rising and still way below than it must be for any healthy human community. The monster is loitering about in every house. Street violence is on the increase, domestic violence is rocketing. What therapists say is if it bothers you more than 24 hours, let it out and do something about it. And here women raised with co-dependent patterns spend their whole life belittling, living the drama and don’t do anything about it. Speak only to appease others’ egos. Live only to please others. Muted but not quiet. They watch their own demise as mute spectators.
No one has the right to treat another human poorly on account of caste, creed, religion, belief, age, gender, norm, ritual, or relationship. On account of status, position, degree, certificate, any prejudice or bigotry.
Even when society is rapidly moving towards equality, in patriarchal segments women are supposed to serve others their whole life but not be independent. They are always seen as a liability and not blessings or benison. In patriarchal sections of society the extreme objectification hits the point where the idea of donating her is deemed sacred. So much as there isn’t a soul condemning it let alone eliminating it from their lives and society. How unfortunate! Where every aspect of women’s and girl children’s life is hegemonized and tyrannized and forever remains hanging in the air. Most co-dependents later in life turn out to be the same authoritarian oppressors. And they never seek out therapists. What a disgrace!
On the whole, it appears to be the love for their sickness and weakness that they try to remain unbothered by their state. This is one of the reasons when the crunch comes these people are never to look to as taking full responsibility for their own lives by them remains to be seen. At the same time, out of their own sickness, they continue to shove others in their cages.
On the other hand, there are those trailblazers, free-spirited and responsible people who do not sit on their hands and forge ahead with a lot of conviction even in excessive narrow-minded and patriarchal communities. They are the blessings and boons, the lighthouses to many who are still fumbling their way out of the dark.
The question is “1. Is your presence better than my solitude? 2. Is there enough mutual respect for holding space for each others? or, 3. You’re just a mindfuck.
Forgiveness isn’t concerned with the mob mindset or following the suit. Forgiveness is a personal experience. It’s about the person who forgives i.e how he moves from holding grudges/struggles to having love/peace/detachment.
While placing boundaries for someone who was colluding with someone against you, needless to say, behind your back or has been indulged in a shitty behaviour patterns or the ones coming from families with an extremely toxic environment where members spend their time fiddling and footering and faffing about, and their rants are littered with subtext and dramas, while their value systems are on the same line, here are the things to consider while placing boundaries in such circumstances especially when communication tends to catch an informal tone too quickly (a huge red flag in the relationship – consider moving on) :
When a toxic person validates the shit, he says “Everything is in the mind.” Believe him, he has been out of his mind by choice while doing the shit.
Forgiveness is an inside job. Sometimes distancing or cutting off the person or a group is an act of forgiveness. No revenge, no wasting of words on immaterial arguments that never reach any understanding or conclusion. Forgiveness is about finding your own closer.Sometimes you have to forgive a person multiple times even when you’re not in touch with the person.
Image Courtesy: Instagram