don’t choose! ( in the aftermath of the demand of dowry )

I heeded them whipping their own souls

If they still had

How can you sanctify it or concoct clever excuses?

How can you sanctify excuses that come with such cruelness?

How convenient it was to be blind to the sufferings and pain you always knew were there?

How could you sanctify the vicissitudes of gradual eradication of someone’s identity?

How could you idealize the quiet acceptance of abuse?

He says:

Know your place, know who you are?

It’s not where you belong from.

It’s not your home.

Don’t you dare be a man!

Be thankful for the abuse, savagery and humiliation and the burden of expectations that come from him

his family, relatives and collateral relatives.

They don’t need to be decent, for he is not.

And it’s not your burden to have, it’s their decision.

Whether they decide how far they can go with the harassment and harrying or stand up to it. And you know…

Give up the idea that marriages take place for two lives to bloom together in their full glory.

Or it has something to do with relationship.

It’s a means to an end to replenish his needs for sex, money and obtain status even without working for it.

His need to be praised for the virtues and aptitudes he was never able to manifest.

It’s about the choices and fulfilment of one person and rejection of another.

It’s not safety or protection but harassment and the support for criminality.

There is an excuse for everything — every violation, every violence, every deception and connivance.

Keep him warm and wet in the bed, reproduce his children and slave over them

Serve them with the minimum requisite you have been provided, for the child is solely your responsibility. His burden. Family?

Slave away only to be shown your place as a slave without anything in return for it.

No honour but disgrace kind of people. Quietly accept the abuse.

Never expect him to be grateful for sacrificing not just your life but your soul, years, your priceless peace.

Bask in the loss of honour, potential, confidence, vigour to meet his selfish needs.

Slave away your life, accept abuse and suffer silently.

After all, what is a woman but the shadow of a man???

Don’t voice your unmet needs, your traumas, don’t seek help. Suffer silently.

And still fulfill his demands,

Don’t try to be equal.

Don’t try to be a human.

Pride yourself on berating yourself and your choices, the perfidy to your soul.

“Don’t you dare be a Man!” The monster roars.

Don’t you dare be a man if you don’t want to dive in those swamps.


You see, someone has chosen your life, your abuse as per his own convenience.

You took a plunge in those swamps and fulfilled the need to be a man.

You did?


Published by Smita

Smita Ray is the mother of two lovely kids and hails from northeastern India. Her perpetual displeasure arising from the hypocrisy in the society underneath the semblance of religion, culture as well as the conditioning for compliance urged her to put down the impressions in her mind. In her spare time, she likes to have some culinary adventures along with her kids trying new recipes or crafting. She describes herself as -- a soulmate, a life alighted on the earth catching the rhythm passing by her. A tinge of joy colours her world and lays its feet on the land where revellers are awaiting her to get into the groove.

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